The problem isn't that I've forgotten how to write. The problem is that I've forgotten how to live. Everything seems like it's covered in Alfred J. Prufrock's yellow fog, and I feel like I'm moving without putting any meaning behind it. I'm lazy. Instead of reviewing how to solve the Chem problems I'm missing steps on, I just skip them. Suddenly I'm addicted to Facebook and Seventeen because they're the mindless junk I want. I feel like I might explode from this boxed in feeling if something doesn't defibrilate me soon.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
La Tragedia Andante
Have you ever choked on something? Or maybe been underwater for too long a had to propel yourself to the surface at full speed if you ever wanted to breathe again? If you have, then you know how I've come to feel. If you haven't, consider yourself very lucky.
The irony here is that I'm drowning in a drought. A drought of words, ideas, accomplishments, etc. I have simply forgotten how to write. The fact that I don't have much time for it doesn't help, and the remedy is actually pretty simple when you think about it: all I have to do is make more time.
Ok, good. So let's put that into practice, shall we? Let's say it's Saturday. I wake up nice and late, say around nine, and eat breakfast and be lazy until ten. And then it's time for showers and homework, which takes absolutely HOURS if you're in APUSH like me. And on certain blessed days, I go do service hours. By the time I'm done with that and home, it's almost one and the homework will still not let me rest. I feel tired and stressed, so I read. On it goes, leaving me with almost no breaks worth writing anything in. There's time enough to read a quick chapter, but start an actual story? Please. On weekdays it's just as bad,with a good three hours worth of homework that I can only start after I get home from track practice around six. There's just no time during the day.
Key phrase here: during the day. The natural day, which usually starts at 6:30 exactly on weekdays and whenever I feel like it on weekends. And this leads me to the solution, the way I will write something every day and climb out of this arid well once and for all. It's so simple that I'm surprised I haven't thought of this before-- I'm just going to wake up earlier.
You may not think this is a major revelation, but to be, it's like giving the day 25 hours instead of 24. If I wake up at 5 a.m., I get an entire hour and a half of time previously occupied by sleep. by going to bed a little earlier, I lose almost nothing and gain peace of mind. I really can't get over how easy this seems!
So that's the plan. Wake up early and write something. I've heard on more than one occasion that it takes 10,000 (yes, ten thousand) hours of doing something before you get good at it. I'm not sure how many hours I've logged of real, serious writing that's gone through edits and made me feel good, but I'm going to start right now. I'm going to keep a journal with me and log every minuted I spend doing thought-out writing (this doesn't count as anything but a warm up because of that) and every idea that I come up with. At this point, no thought can be discredited as a bad idea. I'm sure that if everything happens for a reason, so does every thought.
And you, yes you, can keep me accountable. On any given day you can ask me if I've written anything lately, and the answer will always be a yes, accompanied by the writing itself. No excuses or complaints. I'll figure out how to make this work-- I swear on the great Shakespeare Bible.
The irony here is that I'm drowning in a drought. A drought of words, ideas, accomplishments, etc. I have simply forgotten how to write. The fact that I don't have much time for it doesn't help, and the remedy is actually pretty simple when you think about it: all I have to do is make more time.
Ok, good. So let's put that into practice, shall we? Let's say it's Saturday. I wake up nice and late, say around nine, and eat breakfast and be lazy until ten. And then it's time for showers and homework, which takes absolutely HOURS if you're in APUSH like me. And on certain blessed days, I go do service hours. By the time I'm done with that and home, it's almost one and the homework will still not let me rest. I feel tired and stressed, so I read. On it goes, leaving me with almost no breaks worth writing anything in. There's time enough to read a quick chapter, but start an actual story? Please. On weekdays it's just as bad,with a good three hours worth of homework that I can only start after I get home from track practice around six. There's just no time during the day.
Key phrase here: during the day. The natural day, which usually starts at 6:30 exactly on weekdays and whenever I feel like it on weekends. And this leads me to the solution, the way I will write something every day and climb out of this arid well once and for all. It's so simple that I'm surprised I haven't thought of this before-- I'm just going to wake up earlier.
You may not think this is a major revelation, but to be, it's like giving the day 25 hours instead of 24. If I wake up at 5 a.m., I get an entire hour and a half of time previously occupied by sleep. by going to bed a little earlier, I lose almost nothing and gain peace of mind. I really can't get over how easy this seems!
So that's the plan. Wake up early and write something. I've heard on more than one occasion that it takes 10,000 (yes, ten thousand) hours of doing something before you get good at it. I'm not sure how many hours I've logged of real, serious writing that's gone through edits and made me feel good, but I'm going to start right now. I'm going to keep a journal with me and log every minuted I spend doing thought-out writing (this doesn't count as anything but a warm up because of that) and every idea that I come up with. At this point, no thought can be discredited as a bad idea. I'm sure that if everything happens for a reason, so does every thought.
And you, yes you, can keep me accountable. On any given day you can ask me if I've written anything lately, and the answer will always be a yes, accompanied by the writing itself. No excuses or complaints. I'll figure out how to make this work-- I swear on the great Shakespeare Bible.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Back by Popular Demand
No,I am not talking about me and my return to the blogosphere (even though I'm sure you've all missed me and my ground-breaking insight). I'm talking about Lauren Conrad.
There's nothing wrong with Lauren Conrad, really. She's a person trying to do something interesting with her life just like the rest of us-- the problem is that she's tryign a little too hard to be interesting. But I'd say we all do that. We all try to look good and be interesting and make every day a little more bearable, but there's a limit to how hard we try. I mean, how many of us try to do everything possible to achieve that? It's like how almost every kid on Disney Channel has a part in two shows and a CD on the way next month. You can't do everythign just because you can, people.
That's not to say we can't try. I know people who can sing, act, draw, AND write so amazingly that it's almsot not fair, but the point is that people like that can get away with doing everything. Lauren Conrad isn't one of those people. I'm definitely not one of those people (so don't go thinking this whole thing is a self-righteous rant about incompetent people of the world). I've tried singing and think that American Idol would never in a million years send me to Hollywood. I've tried being an artist and realized that unless you let me do some kind of Impressionist interpretation thing, my paintings are not the kind you'd want to hang on your walls. It just doesn't work for me, so I'm going to focus on something I'm sure I can do. The other day I had a lightbulb moment: I am not cut out for writing stories. I really thought I was going to be the next Great Mystery Writer, but let's be real. You, my little audience, have been reading these posts. You see how easy it is for me to write about things that actually happen, don't you? And maybe you've read some stories, but really, this is so much easier. It still takes effort to find the right words, but now I'm not agonizing over what happens next in the story. I can zoom in on how to tell it instead.
I realize that I sound a little like I've found something like the path to total understanding and peace. When I actually do find it, I'll let you know. Until then, I'm going to watch the world so I can write all about it and learn what I can about what I'm supposed to do. And wait with bated breath for LC to hit #1.
There's nothing wrong with Lauren Conrad, really. She's a person trying to do something interesting with her life just like the rest of us-- the problem is that she's tryign a little too hard to be interesting. But I'd say we all do that. We all try to look good and be interesting and make every day a little more bearable, but there's a limit to how hard we try. I mean, how many of us try to do everything possible to achieve that? It's like how almost every kid on Disney Channel has a part in two shows and a CD on the way next month. You can't do everythign just because you can, people.
That's not to say we can't try. I know people who can sing, act, draw, AND write so amazingly that it's almsot not fair, but the point is that people like that can get away with doing everything. Lauren Conrad isn't one of those people. I'm definitely not one of those people (so don't go thinking this whole thing is a self-righteous rant about incompetent people of the world). I've tried singing and think that American Idol would never in a million years send me to Hollywood. I've tried being an artist and realized that unless you let me do some kind of Impressionist interpretation thing, my paintings are not the kind you'd want to hang on your walls. It just doesn't work for me, so I'm going to focus on something I'm sure I can do. The other day I had a lightbulb moment: I am not cut out for writing stories. I really thought I was going to be the next Great Mystery Writer, but let's be real. You, my little audience, have been reading these posts. You see how easy it is for me to write about things that actually happen, don't you? And maybe you've read some stories, but really, this is so much easier. It still takes effort to find the right words, but now I'm not agonizing over what happens next in the story. I can zoom in on how to tell it instead.
I realize that I sound a little like I've found something like the path to total understanding and peace. When I actually do find it, I'll let you know. Until then, I'm going to watch the world so I can write all about it and learn what I can about what I'm supposed to do. And wait with bated breath for LC to hit #1.
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